Feedback can help us to grow and learn at all levels of our careers and in many different ways. From 360 feedback in professional development reviews to wash up meetings with external agencies on how efficiently a project was delivered, feedback has the power to help us become better.
So why do so many of us resist and fear it?
From negative experiences of feedback and fear of being judged to concerns about how feedback will land, there’s a lot that can go wrong in this space. But there is also so much that can be gained when you get feedback on what you can do differently to get better results. Maintaining a continual growth mindset can help to shift attitudes towards it. Rather than seeing feedback as something to fear, is there a way of seeing it as something that helps you to improve time and time again? We share our approach on how to feel empowered by feedback and ways to utilise it in your career.
What holds us back when it comes to feedback?
Below we explore some of the reasons why feedback has stigma attached to it and outline our top tips to flip this on its head, turning a fear into an opportunity for learning and growth.
We think it means we’ve failed
Our brains have been wired to attribute more value to negative words than positive ones. Known as negativity bias, this is an evolutionary mechanism to help us focus on potential threats. Helpful in a jungle filled with tigers, less helpful in a one to one! Because we home in on this negativity, we hear and focus on feedback about areas we need to work on more than areas we are performing well in.
Our top tips
- By reframing feedback as things we can improve that enable us to excel rather than things we’re doing wrong, we can learn to accept feedback we might otherwise view as negative.
- Rather than thinking of feedback as a sign you’re doing something wrong, think of it as fine tuning. If you’re going to build the best product possible, it’s important to make tweaks here and there. Feedback is exactly the same. By consistently looking at ways to improve, you will constantly get stronger and better.
It’s not a muscle we exercise enough
Asking for feedback and creating a culture of giving and receiving it is something that needs to happen regularly for people to get comfortable with this way of working. As with exercise, if it’s not something we practice enough, it feels unfamiliar when we do utilise it. Ensuring that feedback becomes a regular, every day thing can demystify it and turn it into a positive habit as opposed to a negative conversation piece.
Our top tips
- Try to build feedback into everything you do. Little and often means you’re constantly working that feedback muscle and building a culture around you where feedback is a regular practice.
- Bring feedback out of the shadows and into commonplace. Can it masquerade as something else to get people used to giving and sharing constructive thoughts? For instance, running reviews at the end of big team meetings to ask what worked well and what you would do differently in a future meeting.
The power imbalance
The classic image of feedback in the workplace is a senior manager giving their more junior report feedback on their work. This is quite commonplace and often feedback is something only shared in one to ones or at end of year reviews. This sets staff up to worry they are being judged, especially with the power a senior staff member holds over them in decision making and responsibility.
Our top tips
- It can be helpful for leaders to request feedback from their reports to demonstrate that feedback is universal, and something they seek and respect. This can happen formally with 360 feedback asks or reverse mentoring, and informally with conversations at desks on how a piece of work was delivered top down as well as bottom up.
- Introducing different voices in the feedback process on a project can empower staff to speak up when they might otherwise feel they need permission. In a meeting, think about asking for points of view from a variety of staff members and encourage feedback by asking open questions such as ‘what do you like about this’ or ‘what doesn’t resonate as much?’
- If you lead a team, can you find three ways in the next week to seek informal feedback from team members to get them comfortable sharing feedback with you?
The focus is backwards looking as opposed to forwards
Feedback is only helpful if it is forwards focused. Looking back on what went wrong and being critical helps no-one. You can’t go back and redo the past. What you can do is learn what you would like to do differently looking forwards. We need to create safety around making mistakes and leaving them in the past. Because it’s OK if we got it wrong. What’s not OK is not learning from it and doing something differently next time around.
Our top tips
- Control the narrative around your feedback by framing it in a future focused way. Instead of asking ‘what didn’t work’ ask ‘if we repeated this in the future, what would we do differently?’
- Create a learning log in your team for people to share their big learnings from the previous week or month. Make sure each learning is focused on what they would do differently in the future, encouraging growth mindset and sneaking in some stealth self-feedback.
Make feedback work for you and your teams and reap the benefits
Feedback is not one way – it needs to be seen as a two-way process with all parties being both givers and receivers of feedback.
Be a good giver of feedback
If someone asks you for feedback think about the importance of sharing with them what they can do differently to ensure they are continuously growing and learning. Often, we shirk our responsibility to offer feedback and instead people face radio silence. Remember this isn’t helpful and put yourself in the shoes of someone who really wants to know how they can do better. Start with sharing the positives – make sure they understand what their bright spots are. This is an important tool to reinforce their strengths. Then remember to couch the feedback you give them as forward-facing ways to build something stronger. Never make it personal – it’s important for feedback to be objective.
Be a good receiver of feedback
When someone offers you feedback ensure you say thank you. They have probably been as nervous about sharing something constructive as you are about hearing it. Write down key words so you understand what the feedback is and don’t be afraid to ask clarifying questions. Don’t just focus on the constructive feedback you receive and take negative lessons from it. Try to listen for what you’re doing well and find ways to celebrate that. When it comes to areas to improve, be grateful you now have the knowledge of how to grow and perform better in your role.
Consider working with a coach
A professional coach is an external and impartial person who is removed from the day to day of your job and organisation. Working with a coach on feedback you have received is a safe place to pull apart how you feel about what you’ve been told, and what you might like to change in your work to implement the feedback. Coaches are there to support you with challenge and expertise, and many people find the neutral position they take to be helpful in drilling down into feedback.
What happens when feedback isn’t shared
It can be helpful to think about the consequences of not seeking feedback. This could mean labouring at a project that has lost its direction, not actively working on professional development areas or missing the opportunity to contribute ideas that could turn an innovative idea around. Worrying about our losses instead of gains means we might not step forwards into growth and opportunity for fear of getting it wrong. Flipping any conversation that involves to feedback to ask ‘what can I gain from this knowledge’ is an empowering way to ensure you are moving forwards and doing so positively. The rewards you can reap for your teams, your projects and your personal growth will be worth it!
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